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5 ways to use sex books to upgrade your sex life

There are countless sex-related books on the market, ranging from titillating to informative to shocking to wholesome. While they’re plenty of fun to read solo, these books can also significantly boost your sex life with a partner, if you know how to use them. Here are some suggestions for spicing things up with a literary bent!

Start a conversation

Curious about a new kink or sex act, but have no idea how to broach the subject with your partner? A book is a great starting point! You can always say, “I was just reading this book about [dirty talk/bondage/burlesque]… Have you ever tried it?” If they seem open to the prospect, you can read some of the book together to learn more about the activity you’re hoping to try.

Play a game

Books containing lengthy lists of sex positions or pleasurable techniques are ideal inspiration for a sexy game of your own invention. You could flip through the book until your partner says “stop” and then do whatever’s on the random page you landed on. You could roll a pair of dice to determine what page number to turn to, and then imitate whatever’s on that page. You could take turns describing what you see on particular pages and whether it turns you on. The options are endless!

Re-create a tableau

Books of erotic photography can be wonderfully inspirational, especially if you like taking and/or posing for erotic photos yourself! If you pick up a book of contemporary fetishwear photos and flip through it with your partner, perhaps inspiration will strike. Have your camera at the ready!

Turn each other on

Erotica books are essentially linguistic porn, and some verbally-minded people find them to be even more of a turn-on than porn. You could read your partner a “bedtime story” as foreplay, take turns narrating tales to one another, or record yourself reading aloud from a hot novel so your partner can enjoy your voice while they’re travelling. Discover the deep sensuality of sexy language!

Do a book report

If you have a dominant/submissive dynamic going on in your relationship, it can be fun for the dominant person to give their submissive an assignment from time to time. Maybe they want their sub to research blowjob skills to improve their technique, study a cult-classic kinky novel, or learn some aphrodisiac recipes to cook. Once the submissive has read their assigned book and written a little report on it, perhaps they’ll earn a reward – or a deliciously kinky “punishment” – for their efforts!

Have sex books ever improved your sex life? Which do you recommend?


Kate Sloan is a journalist, blogger, podcaster, and educator who has been writing about sex online and in print for over five years. She writes about sex, kink, relationships, fashion, beauty, writing, and mental health. She has been voted a Sex Blogging Superhero for four years running, and her words reach over 22,000 sex nerds, weirdos and queerdos every month. As a journalist and essayist, Kate has written for Glamour, Teen Vogue, Daily Xtra, the Establishment, Maisonneuve, Herizons, the Plaid Zebra, xoJane, and more.

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