Three Tips for Better Blowjobs

Three Tips for Better Blowjobs

Without fail some of my most popular classes are blowjob classes, people are constantly looking for the secret code to unlock their partner’s orgasms, but the thing is, that’s not how bodies work. I wish I could tell you the secret combination of sucks and licks that will blow everyone’s mind but it just doesn’t exist. I can however, tell you three tips that you can weave into your future BJs that will work for damn near everyone.

Do Your Homework

The most useful thing I’ve learned in all of my years as a sex educator is a pleasure based understanding of anatomy. When it comes to the penis, some of the most important areas to locate are the coronal ridge (which is the ridge around the glans (or head) of the penis), the frenulum (the sensitive spot on the underside of the glans), and the rafe (the ridge along the underside of the penis, from base to tip). These are, more than likely, going to be the most sensitive parts of a penis.

People who have a foreskin will often have a more sensitive glans and shaft than those who don’t, and may enjoy it stimulated through the foreskin or prefer to have it pulled back. Don’t ignore the scrotum either! Many people without balls get nervous, assuming that they’re overly fragile, but cupping, massaging, or even gently tugging on them can feel great!

Be Enthusiastic!

 People don’t want a blowjob from someone who actually sees it as a job. Smiling, moaning, and just generally making it clear you want to be there is going to ramp up arousal for both of you. If the simple thought of a dick in your mouth isn’t enough to turn you on, find something else about the act that gets you going. Do you like the sounds your partner makes? How excited they get when they watch you? Do you like having the power to make them feel that way? Do you like feeling submissive on your knees in front of them? There are thousands of things to love about blowjobs, and if you can’t find something to be excited about, then move on to another act that you can both really enjoy!

Experiment

Sex with a new person is a lot like channel surfing, you flip through the channels, trying to find something interesting, and then when you find it you stick with it! No sex educator can tell you what channel your partner’s favorite show is on, but they can upgrade your cable package. Get lots of ideas, come up with your own, try different things out. Incorporate strokes with your hand to licks and sucks, focus on the head, take the shaft deeper if you can, and the whole time, pay attention to your partner’s reactions. Notice what makes them tense up, what makes them louder, and stick with that.

Talk to them, “Do you like when I go fast?” “Do you want me to tug on your balls like that? Dirty talk is an amazing tool to make things hotter AND communicate what everyone likes. Plus it’s the perfect way to give your mouth a rest.

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Bex Caputo is a sex educator, blogger, speaker, podcaster, and dildo peddler. Bex has appeared as a BDSM educator on True Life: I Need Danger Sex, guested on The Bed Post Podcast, Sex Gets Real, and Sex City Radio, is a guest contributor for Swingtowns and Glamour, and has ranked as one of Kinkly’s Top 100 Sex Bloggers since 2013.

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