For Beginners: what you should know about BDSM

For Beginners: what you should know about BDSM

Let’s begin with the full meaning. BDSM stands for Bondage and discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. Although many of us like to see ourselves as forward thinking, open minded individuals, we often stay in a finely carved-out little box when it pertains to sex. There is of course, nothing wrong with playing it safe, we often sacrifice our deepest sexual desires in a bid to be ‘normal’.

If you have ever considered adding something to your sex life to spice it up but have been unsure what exactly it entails, this article will help to guide you as you take the not often explored road to discovering the extent of sexual satisfaction

Bondage and Discipline

This aspect of BDSM encompasses the sexual practices where the submissive partner is tamed and restrained. Many people who engage in what is described as ‘vanilla sex’ use a milder form of this by blindfolding or holding hands together. You should be sure you are ready for this. Restraining can include handcuffs and ropes. On a firmer note, bondage cages and a contraption like Sir Richard’s bondage kit  from Andrew Blake store can be added to the menu.

Discipline is more of behavior modification as the dominant corrects the submissive’s behavior with punishments like spanking with whips or paddles or erotic humiliation.

Dominant and Submissive

This is pretty self-explanatory. The dominants are called Doms when male and Dommes when female while the submissives, male or female are referred to as Subs. The submissive is the partner that gives up control in the BDSM relationship. A session can involve choosing whether you want to be a Dominant or Submissive or you may want to switch these roles. The best way to discover what is right for you is by experimenting. Some people discover that both roles stimulate them and they can even switch between roles during a session. Accessories like a ball gag or a sub collar can be worn buy a sub to display his or her role.

Sadism and Masochism

This is the area that most people find hardest to define. It quite simply refers to giving and receiving of pain. The masochist derives pleasure from being inflicted with pain, whilst for the sadist, the giving of pain procures pleasure. The difference between dominance and submission and sadism and masochism is that the former is about control while the later is about pain. Infliction of pain is not a necessary component of a domme-sub relationship

Introducing BDSM to your relationship

It can be quite difficult to bring up something new to our partners. It just can’t be overlooked, a successful relationship of any kind hinges on good communication. If you have fantasies of BDSM, you really should share with your partners. To make it subtler, you can try non-verbal techniques like watching a suggestive movie together. Make sure it is something you both genuinely want to do. Be open about what you like and be attentive to what your partner doesn’t. It requires a lot of trust. Be safe.

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