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Building a basic sex toy collection

There are so many sex toys on the market that it can be intimidating to shop for new ones. How are you supposed to know what’ll feel good for you and your partner(s)?

In general, the best way to figure out your ideal next sex toy purchase is to do the following:

Decide what hole you want to fill (so to speak) in your sex life with this toy. Do you want penetration? Vibration? Anal sensations?
Pick a handful of toys in that category that look good to you.
Search for sex toy reviewers who have written about your top contenders, and compare their comments to your own tastes and preferences with regards to sex toys, to get a sense of which reviewers’ opinions you should weigh more heavily and which you can safely disregard.
Make your purchase!

However, if you’re looking to build a sex toy collection from scratch and have absolutely no idea where to start, here are some suggestions for sex toy “basics” that almost anyone could get pleasure from. Think of it as the sexual equivalent of those “wardrobe must-haves” articles that tend to recommend white button-down shirts, well-fitting jeans, and little black dresses!


Many people, regardless of anatomy, enjoy the sensation of vibration. It’s stimulating in a way that no human touch can be, and is great for adding some occasional variety to your sex life. Vibrators are also a lovely option for anyone who feels that they can’t easily get off any other way, whether that be due to their sensitivity level, anxiety, stress, desensitizing medications, or any other factor.

Some of the best vibrating toys for any body:
Wand vibrators are popular with people of all different genders, because they can be used on the genitals, nipples, perineum, and other external erogenous zones – plus they work a treat for muscle massage!
The Lelo Siri 2 is a powerful handheld vibrator that works well on the clitoris, penis, balls, and numerous other spots.
Anyone craving more pinpointed touch may enjoy the Hot Octopuss Digit, a finger vibrator that’s easy to maneuver onto various external hotspots.


Whether you plan on using it vaginally or anally (or both), it can be nice to have a penetrative toy on hand for when fingers just won’t do. These toys often reach deeper and/or press harder than fingers are capable of, plus some of them vibrate, rotate, thrust, or curl upward in order to hit specific internal erogenous zones.

Make sure you choose a toy made of a non-porous, non-toxic material (so the toy can be properly sanitized between uses, including before switching back to vaginal usage after using it anally), and that any toy you plan to put in anyone’s butt has a flared base so it doesn’t get lost up there.

Consider these options:
The Njoy Pure Wand is a much-beloved stainless steel dildo designed to target the G-spot or prostate.
While made for vaginal use, the Aneros Vivi is also anal-safe. Insert it, turn it on, and enjoy the feeling of your internal and external hotspots being vibrated simultaneously!
A basic glass dildo can help you get acquainted with your G-spot (this toy isn’t safe to use anally). You can also experiment with temperature play by putting the toy in a bowl of warm or cool water for a few minutes before playing.

Kink / Sensation

Once your genitals are taken care of, you might find yourself curious about toys that can stimulate the rest of you… in which case, the world of kink toys is worth investigating! Even if you don’t consider yourself kinky, there are plenty of erotic and exciting sensations worth exploring.

Some kink toys anyone might enjoy:
A blindfold can be a surprisingly versatile “sexcessory.” Try putting one on before your partner performs oral sex on you to enhance the sensations, or blindfold your partner before massaging their body with a vibrator to make the encounter feel more mysterious and thrilling.
A riding crop is a wonderful tool for beginners who are curious about impact play. Whether you prefer light, quick hits or strong, heavy ones (or both!), you’ll get plenty of mileage out of this stingy little thing.
A feather tickler is great for teasing, tempting, tickling and titillating a partner, especially if they’re blindfolded and/or tied down.

What do you consider must-haves in your sex toy collection?


Kate Sloan is a journalist, blogger, podcaster, and educator who has been writing about sex online and in print for over five years. She writes about sex, kink, relationships, fashion, beauty, writing, and mental health. She has been voted a Sex Blogging Superhero for four years running, and her words reach over 22,000 sex nerds, weirdos and queerdos every month. As a journalist and essayist, Kate has written for Glamour, Teen Vogue, Daily Xtra, the Establishment, Maisonneuve, Herizons, the Plaid Zebra, xoJane, and more.

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